Archive for ‘Journals’
Tappity, tappity ow, ow, ow.
And here is the Journal transcript:
I like Humpty. I don’t think he’s bothered by me drinking blood. Just that I was feeding when we were supposed to help Jack. I mean, he can’t be bothered by it too much, right? He never says anything when he gives me my meals in the kitchen.
Jack was easy to find because the troll was still after him. We just followed the trail of damage. This time, though, I stuck with Humpty and I asked him, “What about that new gun thing you got with your new shard?”
“What? My goo gun?”
“Yeah. How far does it shoot?”
“Oh, at least three hundred yards, but I think the troll’s too big for it to slow him down.”
“Maybe not slow him down but shoot him in the eyes. I’ll do my thing and maybe it’ll give Jack some more time to get away.”
Humpty didn’t look like he thought it’d work. He asked me, “Yer not gonna bite him or spit at him, are ya?”
I rolled my eyes at Humpty. He’s nice an’ all but he really must not know what I can do. “He’d squash me if I tried to bite him. And I’m not gonna spit at him. Takes too much time for a guy that big. Just go shoot him in the eyes, okay?”
And when we got close enough, Humpty bazooka’ed his goo right into the troll’s eyes. Perfect hit! And when he couldn’t see and was distracted, I skittered over there quick as a flash and did my Dance of Death on his ugly troll feet! My legs are really sharp and I can jab really fast. Boy, did that troll howl while I skewered his right foot, then his left foot.
Not sure who makes a better entrance: Humpty or the sheep.
If you have trouble reading the text, here it is:
Yep. That Red Cap is smart, but what he didn’t know is that I’m not just an undead egg man who can change size. I’m an undead egg man who can change his size AND — for a short time — what I’m made of.
I don’t actually like to do it because it’s more painful than being made of my usual shelly self. But this time it’d be a ton better than being splattered everywhere, out of action until I reformed an hour later. Jack’d be outta time by then, so I sucked it up — as usual — and turned myself to rubber. I thought that’d be the best thing, because I wouldn’t crack up and, hey, nothing’s wrong with bouncing!
Er… Except I ain’t ball-shaped.
Ever try to bounce a rubber egg? It’s like trying to bounce a rubber football. Depending on how it lands, it can bounce ANY direction.
Wouldn’t’cha know? I bounced the exact opposite way I needed to go and straight into some poor lady’s third story window! She ran out screamin’. At least I only bounced once before switching back.
As I was picking bits of me outta the rubble, there was a green flash of light in front of me and the sheep just appeared outta nowhere! Wondered where the bah-bah wandered off to. She spoke this time, instead of words appearing on her wool.
“A pound of weakness and no more
Will it take to complete your chore
No blood, no flesh, no bone, no soul
Will it take to blast this troll.”
Now, I’m not the smartest cookie in the jar but I took that to mean we needed Jack’s fire to defeat the troll. Again, not afraid to admit me and riddles don’t exactly mesh so I put my hands on my hips and glared at the sheep.
“How the heck do ya measure a pound of fire??”
And that sheep just looked up at me and blinked. Like, she blinked and was gone.
Darn magical teleports.
“That was no kinda answer!” I yelled at nobody.
Oh well. Time to find the others and get back into the fight.
I love her expression. If you want to read the dialogue, here it be:
Well, Humpty was definitely outta the picture. I think the troll threw him? All I knew was that he was gone and the troll was now rampagin’ right for me. Could I have turned around and tried to see if my legs could death dance on his ugly green face? Sure! Did I think that was a stupid move and I wanted to keep running? Yes! What we knew for sure was that Jack’s fire could hurt him but we were gonna run outta time if Jack didn’t get his fire goin’ again.
“Sorry, Lil’ Creepy,” he said when he came down from another leap. “Best we split up, I think.”
Well, I didn’t think that was the best idea but, even though I’m fast, I can’t leap outta sight like Jack. I skitter. And I couldn’t skitter fast enough to track where he went after he launched off again.
I decided to hide, because even though my legs make me look really big, they didn’t seem to make the troll afraid of me. So I squeezed into a little side alley, glad my metal legs work a lot like a spider’s and squeezing’s no problem. I waited, saw the troll crash past me, and making straight for I’m guessing Jack’s direction. That troll has it in for him. I just hope Jack could find a blacksmith, or a baker. Anybody with a nice fire or an oven or something to dry him out.
And, while I waited so quiet and still, a little rat just happened by…
Sorry for the slight delay. Posted this around 1:30AM PST.
Looks like the game’s afoot! Er… At hand? *grinz* Yup, Scarecrow just bet ALL their shards. I wonder what he’s planning…
Note: Shylock’s comment about Shakespeare is pointing out that, like his own tale (“Merchant of Venice”), the play “Othello” was also a Shakespearean work. It is also a boardgame :) TB’s clever idea.